


And may the odds be ever in his favor

by Moonshine_Givens



Series: You may say I'm a dreamer [3]
Category: Hunger Games (2012), Justified
Genre: Crack, Dream Sequence, Implied Relationship, M/M, Pre-Slash, spoilers to the end of season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 10:05:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonshine_Givens/pseuds/Moonshine_Givens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raylan is hungry and running and shooting arrows and there's is the strange possibility that he and Boyd are the star crossed lovers from Harlan District.<br/>(also, he didn't slept with his sister Ava, did he?)</p><p>or</p><p>Try picturing this one with Raylan wearing a side braid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And may the odds be ever in his favor

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Gunslingers!
> 
> So I got into this Justified Challenge thing (http://ohthati.tumblr.com/post/63770252389/ohthati-long-hard-times-to-come-the-12-weeks-to) in which I'm a total disaster.
> 
> But, this would be the post to week 4 - Surrealistic Justified: a very, very late post.  
> Hope ya'll enjoy it!

It's not the first time in his life that the only thing he can count on is his ability to shoot straight. This single skill – to hit a moving target, to end a life with one single shot – is the only string holding him alive, and this is not surprising or new. What is new is the feeling of deep hunger in his gut, a hunger so deep and so old it hurts like being stabbed, a hunger so solid that is another presence in his life. What is also new is the feeling of the bow in his hands, the arrow he's aiming, the string against his cheek that is gone impulse death over another body. He aims and he shoots and he doesn't know exactly what he is killing, but he has a feeling it's another human being.

He runs.

He's running in a green forest and there are birds everywhere who actually sing, no, not “sing” like birds sing, they're singing bluegrass tunes with their bird’s voices, the fucking creepiest thing ever, who the hell comes up with this kind of twisted shit? There is fire somewhere, everyone is trying to kill him and that’s apparently not enough because now there’s also fire, Jesus, this forest just can’t give him a break. Raylan is running because he needs to survive, because he needs to kill-

Who does he need to kill?

He needs to kill everyone, he needs to survive, he needs to be the only one surviving, but how the fuck is he supposed to survive when there are people trying to kill him at every corner and there are poison insects and there is honest-to-god fire? There is fire and he needs to shoot those fuckers dead, and he needs to survive, he's going to win-

What will he win? He'll win, anyway, he'll be one of the few hillbillies to ever come back home alive, to come back to his fucking god forsaken district of mines and misery, dying dying dying; he has to, he promised-

He promised Ava. Yes. He made a huge promise to Ava, promised to come back alive, and he had to keep that promise, whatever it cost, because it was the last thing he said to his sister (his sister?), yeah, his sister Ava.

(Being her brother feels kind of wrong because he has the feeling he slept with her at some point, but that must be impossible, because Ava’s his sister, and a child, and unless there’s something really sick about himself he has never ever ever slept with her.)

She was the reason Raylan was here, in this forest, hungry: because she was too small, she was just a child, a fragile blonde child that could not survive alone in the jungle. When her name came out, Raylan had to do something. He had to protect her, because she was this little vulnerable broken angel, and he couldn’t bear the thought of her alone in the woods, fighting with monsters, so he made the promise.

He had to be alright. They had to be alright. They. He and-

And Boyd. Raylan runs, he’s so hungry, he has to save Boyd, because he promised Ava, promised they would come back, so he has to kill and hurt and hunt and shoot anyone that gets in his way, he has to win this fucking game and come back to Harlan district alive, they’re the star crossed lovers of Harlan district.

But that’s not right, is it? They are not… they never… but they are, the star crossed lovers, because Ava thinks they are, because everyone in this damn game thinks they are, because Boyd is a silver tongue, so he has to save Boyd, they have to win the game, and the hunger is so big-engulfing-hurtful-horrible-huge, Raylan will shoot someone down and he’ll protect Ava and he’ll save Boyd and he’ll survive if only he can run but he’s not in the game he’s back in Harlan and no they’re taking Ava Ava Ava taking her and dragging her and killing her and

“I volunteer!”

It takes more than a second, but Raylan is finally awake. Awake, in the dark, and fuck, did he just yell? He straights himself in the chair he had been sleeping in, and looks ahead: Boyd is wide awake in the bed, eyes round and mouth around a half-smile.

“What d’ya volunteer for, son?”

Fucking weird dreams. Raylan is never, ever, ever watching a teenage movie ever again; those things are getting more violent than goddamn westerns.

“Did we eat before we went to bed?” he asks instead, ignoring the question.

“You mean, before _I_ came to bed and you sat there staring at me like the creep you are?”

“I don’t think I had lunch before that either.”

Raylan gets up and goes to the kitchen without waiting for Boyd’s reply: he’s not surprised to realize there’s nothing edible in the fridge. Boyd probably hasn’t been eating, he’s losing weight fast lately. Raylan grabs the pizza phone number from the fridge door and calls it, ordering the biggest and fastest pizza to be ready. It’s still going to take at least fifteen minutes to get there anyway, so he has some time to sit in total darkness and hope that Boyd falls back into sleep again.

Sleep he was the one disturbing. Fucking helpful, that he was.

He’s not going to drink because he didn’t eat for over twenty hours and he doesn’t wanna get sick or fall asleep again, but he wish he could have a beer. The dream is still fresh in his mind, how he saw Ava as a young girl, blonde braids and her white dress. At age twelve, Ava looked a lot like the little girl in the movie (Raylan couldn’t, for the life of him, remember the name of the characters), so that’s probably why he connected those two images.

He wishes he could volunteer, he realizes.

He wishes he could take Ava’s place at that prison. That the dark circles and the restless, scared eyes were his. She’s not fragile, he knows she’s a daughter of Harlan, but Jesus Christ Almighty, she’s so beautiful, so small, she’s gonna end up being swallowed by all that darkness, all that misery. She’s gonna end up dead in that place and Raylan won’t be able to deal with the guilty.

He made a promise for her that afternoon, that he would take care of Boyd. A fucking stupid promise that could end with everything Raylan so carefully built in his life, but a promise made under the impression it was the only thing he could do to ease the impossible burden on Ava’s shoulders. It was the only tribute available.

She meant a lot of things with “taking care of Boyd”, and she was quite clear about it: Boyd needed more than just someone to make sure he was eating, someone to take the gun out of his hand when he was about to shoot his own brains. No, he needed a reason to be alive, to care about himself, he needed a love. Ava wanted him to have a love, and Boyd only ever loved two people in his whole life, and now was Raylan’s turn.

Ava knew they had unspoken, unsolved secrets between them, feelings never addressed and wants that never came to life, she knew it because she knew both of them as the palm of her hand. In that pretty little head of hers, she believed that those feelings could work as the only thing keeping Boyd sane over the time she spent in prison: a time they were fooling themselves it wasn’t going to last forever.

In a way, Raylan was willing to agree that Boyd needed something, and maybe that something was to finally stop running from the stupid attraction they always had for each other, but he couldn’t very well just find the words to seductively say “Hey, so we’ve been hot for each other for almost our whole lives, but first we were too afraid of beings fags and lately you’ve been kind of low bag of scum, but now that your fiancée, that you truly adore, is gonna end her days rooting in jail, how about we finally try that whole gay thing, hm?”. It was kind of a tough subject to break.

Besides, he wasn’t sure he was 100% convinced he was ready to throw his whole world view out of the window over Boyd.

The pizza man finally arrived, and pizza was the only thing in Raylan’s mind for the next fifteen minutes. He was more than half way through the whole thing when he remembered what the hell was he doing in the Crowders house, that he was supposed to be taking care of someone else besides his own starving self. He considered for a moment just eating the whole thing and being a good Samaritan tomorrow, but the cheese tasted like guilty gay love on the next bite. He gets up with a sigh.

He swears he isn’t going to wake Boyd if the man was back asleep, but of course Boyd is wide awake sitting in his bed when he comes back, ruining Raylan every hope of eating those last few slices. He shoves the pizza in Boyd’s hands, sitting in the chair as a man who’s quite aware the amount of hate he has for the whole extensity of Kentucky.

Boyd looks at the food as if he doesn’t have the faintest clue of what to do with it. Raylan wants to knock his head against something hard.

“Hell, you ain’t gonna make me feed you, are you?”

Boyd offers him the smallest, saddest smile, taking a small bite of the pizza.

“So ya went to see Ava today.” he says after some time, and Raylan is quite sure he just forget the interrogation mark that should exist in the question.

“No.”

“How was she?”

“I didn’t see her.”

“Raylan.”

Raylan throws a used napkin at Boyd’s head. The man keep staring at him, eyebrows raised, looking more reasonable that someone with cheese in his hair had any right to be.

“Eat your fucking pizza.”

Boyd manages to fit more than half the slice in his mouth – ha! Who’s reasonable now? – and make a hand gesture as if signaling Raylan he should keep going, and that makes zero sense since “eat your fucking pizza” was an order, not a deal.

“She was good, Boyd, really good. Made a few friends inside, her hair looks nice. Said the food ain’t half as bad as she imagined, and she’s even got her nails done or somethin’. She’s taken up to smoking again, so make sure cigarettes get to her.”

Boyd smiles once again, licking the grease out of his own fingers. “Ya know, there are theories about different universes that co-exist with our own lil’ universe, alternative realities where every small change alters the curse of our lives and the paths we follow. If ya can believe that, ain’t no fiction that doesn’t ground itself in a true. Only, those trues sometimes belong in complete different planes of existence.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He watches a whole minute of Boyd putting the pizza box away on the floor and cleaning his fingers and mouth with a new napkin, lying himself back in bed, until the man was finally ready to give him an answer:

“It means I’m happy to hear such good news about Ava, Raylan, nothing else.”

There are long moments of silence, where they’re both in a cell miles away; but then the moment is gone and Boyd is staring back at him again.

“So, did she say something else?”

“’Bout what?”

“Oh, I dunno… ‘bout me and you, maybe…”

“I’ll go get a beer in the kitchen, do you want some?” Raylan is getting up again really fast, but Boyd reaches out for his arm.

“Ain’t no alcohol left at home, I drank it all.” His hand is insistent on Raylan’s arm. “Last time I was there she said somethin’ ‘bout me and you. ‘Bout us. Said she would talk to you as soon as she got a chance.”

“Not sure if she got ‘round to do it.”

He stares at Boyd’s hand on his arm for a whole second, certain that he’ll just pull away and run into the kitchen or maybe go to sleep into the living room. Even as he raises his own hand, he still believes he’s only going to entangle Boyd’s fingers from his arm, but then his own fingers are touching Boyd’s skin, lightly, without any command from Raylan’s brain. He watches his fingers caressing Boyd’s, as if it’s happening with someone else.

“I can’t do it, Raylan.”

The second the words are out of Boyd’s mouth, is like the world is plugged back on again, and Raylan is pulling himself away fast.

“Yeah, I mean, sure. I didn’t think… Ava…”

“It’s not ‘bout Ava.” Boyd looks into Raylan eyes, and Raylan wishes he was lying. “It’s about us. I… feel… this way for so long, so many years of… wanting and not having and it was always…” Boyd lowers his head at least, and the fucking thing is miserable all around. “I can’t do it just because she’s not here. I can’t let it become about suffering over her. You are not just a distraction, Raylan, you were my first… the first person I ever…”

“I get it.” Raylan says before Boyd can say it. “I really do. I don’t want to do it either. But you can’t just give up and die, Boyd. That ain’t fair with me and that ain’t fair with her.”

Boyd sighs loudly, as if the request is absurd of Raylan, but the marshal knows he’s listening. Boyd looks at Raylan in the chair once again, and he’s rolling his eyes then:

“Will ya please cease your gracelessness and come lie down on this bed with me? I can assure your ass gonna be a bit more comfortable on it than it is squeezing itself in the poor chair, and I swear I ain’t gonna do no attempts against your chastity or your purity, we’ll be as innocents as God’s children.”

“In the bed? With you?”

“Raylan, if I’m not mistaken, the two of us were considering the possibility of engaging in a less than platonic, less than heterosexual activity not five minutes ago. I do believe that if we can conceive this turn in our affections, we can lay down beside each other in the same bed. Ain’t like there’s no one else but ourselves to judge here.”

Raylan wants to kick the man, but there ain’t no arguing with Boyd in the middle of the night, and he’s feeling warm all over from the pizza. He lies down and tries to relax his body, hearing Boyd breath by his side: this is not what Ava asked, but this is something they can both give: the assurance of being alive for a whole night, one night at the time.

Raylan starts to believe he’ll be able to sleep when Boyd asks, in a whisper:

“What were you dreamin’ ‘bout, anyway?”

“Just a teenage girl movie that got stuck in my head.”

“Those vampire romantic flicks, something like that?”

Raylan laughs, he feels stupid with sleep, but he tries to explain any way. “No, nothing like that. A bunch of kids stuck in an arena trying to kill each other ‘till death. In the future.”

“Fuck, that doesn’t sound very teenage-y.”

“Teenage girls are some violent animals these days.”

It’s Boyd turn to laugh. “They always were. You couldn’t sleep?”

“What, when I watched it? No. I went to visit Loretta McCready. We saw it together.” There’s a moment of silence, and then Raylan is saying. “They dug coal, Boyd. In the movie. The miserable ones dug coal.”

“Coal and killing. It doesn’t sound very futuristic to me.”

Raylan didn’t thought it was futuristic either, but he was already asleep. If Raylan was a fan of the movie, or had he ever read those books, he would probably had wondered if the odds would ever be in the Crowder’s favor. As it was, he probably slept through that part of the movie as well, and his last half-awaken thought was about Boyd’s warmth, and the smell of pizza.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually described Catching Fire to my boss exactly in the words Raylan describes Hunger Games to Boyd. In my defense, I hadn't slept the whole night 'cause I've watched the movie and I couldn't deal with the feels (it premiered early in Brazil, so we got to watch before you guys).
> 
> ANYWAY: thank you for reading it!
> 
> You wanna catch me, I'm at ohthati.tumblr.com  
> You ship Boyd x Raylan? check us out at wedugcoal.tumblr.com


End file.
